Haunted Page 16

  “It’s very strange,” he said, and I could feel the warmth of him intensify and I knew that he was holding me tighter in his way, “that something so natural and wonderful is considered to be such a horrible misfortune when it occurs under what society deems to be the wrong circumstances. It was the same in my time – if a young woman found herself to be with child out of wedlock it was very nearly a crime that would ruin her life. But why? We are born into this world naked and perfect and to share that with another is the most beautiful thing, is it not? People get strange ideas into their heads and those ideas become belief systems and those belief systems become cultures and even though they don’t make any sense they’re accepted as the only way.”

  “Well I suppose that originally it was a bad idea to have a child young and out of wedlock because it meant that someone had to feed it and clothe it and provide for it, and a young girl simply wouldn’t have the resources. The responsibility would fall to her family, I guess. You could understand why people would discourage their daughters from reproducing outside of marriage,” I mused.

  “True,” he acknowledged, “but that’s precisely what I’m saying. Your friend comes from a great deal of money. Her family would have no trouble at all providing for a child, and yet the culture and society says that this is the worst possible thing that could befall a girl of her age. So what should be considered a blessing is treated as a shameful tragedy that must be destroyed.”

  “Well,” I could see his point, but I decided to play Devil’s Advocate, “her family probably wouldn’t want her education interrupted – “

  But he cut me off.

  “Again – this is just the thing. There’s no need for it. She might not be able to attend school as she does now, but her family could provide her with tutors, or the education system could be more accommodating of young mothers. The reason your friend is considered to be “in trouble” is really only because of the social stigma attached to her situation. She’s considered to be “in trouble” because society collectively thinks that she is.”

  The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. And that his theory could be applied to so much of life – it’s good or it’s bad because of how the majority of other people will think of it.

  “There’s nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so,” I said, quoting from Shakespeare.

  “Exactly,” he said. “But I do wish your friend well and hope that she remedies her situation the way she wishes because she wishes it and not because she’s worried about other people’s opinion of her.”

  There was silence between us for a few moments and I luxuriated in his warmth. But he broke the spell by sitting up abruptly and pronouncing, “Let’s get back to your studies! We have much work to do if you are going to be ready to present this little scene on Monday!”

  “It’s not a scene,” I giggled, “It’s a dialogue!”

  “What is a scene, but dialogue between two people?” he said insouciantly. And then he playfully pinched at my nose.

  We worked together on “the little scene” until we both grew tired of it, and then I once again experienced the pure bliss of falling asleep in Stefano’s arms.

  CHAPTER 15

  I slept quite late the next morning. I felt a tiny bit bad that I wasn’t awake to wish Lisa good luck before they left; on the other hand I was relieved because perhaps wishing someone good luck in such a situation wasn’t appropriate and I would have felt awkward and Cheryl would have given me one of her looks.

  I went downstairs to the dining hall to get some breakfast and think about what I was going to do to fill the afternoon. I suppose I could have gotten started on the short answer questions for English, but I was waiting til later when I could have access to Cheryl’s laptop: it didn’t make sense to write them all out by hand and then have to type them up. I’d rather just type everything up one time.

  The dining hall wasn’t busy at all. I found an empty table near a window and sat in the sunlight that was pouring through it. I thought that maybe if I took a walk to the rose garden later, Stefano might join me. It felt like ages since we had last been there together.

  I was enjoying having a little daydream about him when I was interrupted by Janice. She came up from behind me with a tray that had only a cup of coffee and a carton of milk on it.

  “Mind if I join you?” she asked as she sat down opposite me.

  “Be my guest,” I said, although my answer was clearly of no importance to her.

  “Are Cheryl and Lisa still in bed?” she frowned at me, as if it were my fault if they were.

  “I haven’t seen either of them this morning,” I said truthfully.

  “Oh yeah?” she said.

  We sat in silence for some minutes while I chewed on my toast and she poured half the little carton of skim milk into her coffee cup.

  “Coffee’s too strong for me. I like it milky,” she explained as I watched.

  “Oh. I prefer tea,” I replied.

  “Yeah well sometimes you need a little boost, you know?” she shrugged and I stopped myself from telling her that the amount of milk she was using probably negated the effects of the caffeine.

  “So let me ask you something. Completely between you and me,” she said as she squinted at me and I could tell I wasn’t going to like what was coming. “It was you in Chad’s car that night, wasn’t it?” Her voice was accusatory and I lowered my eyes to my plate.

  But I rallied quickly.

  “It was not me in Chad’s car. Why would I lie?” I lied. “Look – do you know what happened that night? Cheryl and Lisa wanted to go to the bar. I don’t have ID but they thought they could try and get me in. It didn’t work, so I was left to wander the streets for the rest of the night while they were in the bar. If I bumped into Chad and caught a ride home with him, what would have been wrong with that? It wouldn’t be something I’d have to lie about. I’d have nothing to hide – I just needed a ride back to school. The way you ask me that, it’s like you think I’m having some grand, passionate affair with him because I was in his car. I had never even met him at that point in my life. I don’t know who or what you think you saw, but it wasn’t me.”

  My voice was beginning to rise in anger and something in the back of my head told me to cool it and not to lose my temper.

  Janice held her hands up. “Alright, alright. It was just a question. No need to get so defensive.”

  “I’m not being defensive, Janice. Well, maybe I am. But it’s because you saying that to Cheryl caused me a lot of problems and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop now.”

  And I should stop now, too, I admonished myself.

  “Okay, be like that. But I heard you two are quite cozy now – he has you working on the paper with him,” she informed me as if I didn’t know.

  “Well, I’m not working on the paper with him: I’m writing a column – by myself – independently. That’s it,” I said, wishing she would just leave me alone already.

  I had an unlikely savior from any more of her questions in the form of Trevor. He had been standing in the middle of the hall with a tray looking round for someone to sit with when he spied Janice and me.

  “Hey ladies, mind if I join you?” he said as he plunked himself down next to Janice.

  A sick feeling crept over me as I thought of what Lisa was on her way to do at that very minute. Here was Trevor blissfully ignorant of his part in it and I felt like a traitor of some sort sitting at the same table with him.

  “Wow, what did we do to deserve the grace of your presence?” Janice asked sarcastically. “It’s not like you to come and sit with the girls. Where are your homies?”

  “Hell if I know,” he shrugged. “You want me to leave?” he challenged her.

  “Not on my account,” she said as she folded her arms across her chest. “Just sayin’ that you’ve never come to sit and eat with me ever in your life, so I wonder what brought you over to our table.”

  She eyed me knowi
ngly.

  “Well it wasn’t you and your charming personality, if you must know,” he fired back at her.

  This was too much. I simply couldn’t in good conscience sit and have breakfast with this person on this morning of all mornings. And to compound it all the two of them were bickering with each other and it was all just far too awkward and uncomfortable.

  “I think I’m done,” I said as I stood up. “You two enjoy your breakfast!”

  But Trevor was having none of it.

  “Not so fast,” he said as reached over the table and grabbed my wrist. “It’s Cathy, right?”

  “Catherine,” I corrected him.

  “Same thing,” he shrugged me off. “Don’t go and leave me here with this nagging hag.”

  He jerked his head in Janice’s direction.

  “Uh, you came and sat with me! I didn’t ask you to!” Janice reminded him sharply.

  “Please,” he implored me, “Stay. So I can have someone nice to talk to while I eat.”

  “You know, I’d really like to,” I tried to sound sincere, but I came off as brusque. I couldn’t wait to get as far away from him as possible. “But I really do have a lot to do today.”

  “It’s Saturday,” he pointed out with irritation.

  “I know. I just have a lot to do,” I said again as I stood up and whipped my tray off the table in one quick motion so that he wouldn’t have the opportunity to grab me again.

  As I walked away I heard him mutter, “What’s up her ass?” and Janice laughed loudly.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon restless and unable to do much of anything while I waited for Cheryl and Lisa to return. I was worried – I hoped that everything had gone smoothly and that Lisa was fine.

  Finally at around seven o’clock I heard the knock on my door.

  “Jesus, I wish you’d get a cell phone already,” Cheryl greeted me.

  “Is Lisa alright?” I asked anxiously.

  “Oh yeah, she’s fine. She’s just been lying down for a while,” Cheryl said as nonchalantly as if Lisa had a mild headache.

  “When did you get back?” I asked.

  “Oh, hours ago. I would have texted you, but oh wait! You don’t have a cell phone!” she clucked at me. “Which also means that Lisa can’t text you if she needs something. You’ll have to come and hang out in our room.” She seemed annoyed.

  “That’s fine,” I agreed. It was what I had expected to happen anyway.

  “Well, I just saw that Chad’s car isn’t in the lot anymore. It was there about a half an hour ago, so that means he just left recently. I’m guessing they’re going to a movie if he left this early. Or maybe a movie and then the party. Or who knows. But I’m going to leave now and see if I can find him in town. Come to our room and I’ll turn my laptop on for you,” she instructed. “You’re still going to do my English homework for me, right?” she eyed me.

  “Yeah, of course. No problem,” I answered.

  I honestly wouldn’t have minded it so much – the questions were straightforward and I was more than familiar with the material, but it was the way she expected that I was going to do it for her that rankled me.

  We went down the hall together to Lisa and Cheryl’s room. Lisa was in bed with her own laptop open and watching a movie. I smiled weakly at her. I didn’t quite know what to say.

  “Here – everything’s set up. It’s wifi, so surf away to your heart’s content!” she sang.

  “Thanks for that, Cheryl. That’s a big help,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, maybe you should think about getting some twenty first century technology yourself one of these days, sugar pie!” she said, her voice dripping with derision. “Alright, I’m off. See you kids later!” she sang as she sashayed out the door.

  I turned to Lisa, who was completely engrossed in the movie she was watching and behaving like I wasn’t there at all.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked gingerly. “Did everything go okay?”

  “Oh!” she slammed down the lid of her computer. “It went fine as it’s possible for it to go. I feel weak and a bit dizzy, but that’s to be expected.”

  She ran both of her hands through her considerable mane of hair over and over again as if were a nervous compulsive activity that she couldn’t help.

  “Can I get you anything?” I offered.

  “Not right now,” she sighed. “I haven’t eaten all day, so I might get you to get me some food in a bit. But I have no appetite right now,” she said as her voice cracked and I realized she was weeping a little bit.

  “Oh, Lisa!“ I said sympathetically. I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t know how physically fragile she was feeling and I didn’t want to risk upsetting her further.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just been a really bad day,” she sniffled.

  “I know, I know.”

  “And really it should be Cheryl sitting here with me instead of going out to chase after Chad!” she cried.

  “Oh, Lisa!” I said again. I felt so bad for her! “Don’t be mad at her. Honestly I think she’s having a hard time with it herself, because it probably brings up bad memories of when it happened to her. It reminds her of her own…experience…and it’s probably very difficult.”

  “Ha!” Lisa spat through her tears. “She doesn’t give a monkey’s about that. It meant nothing to her.”

  I was taken aback. “Lisa, she was raped. I can’t even imagine-“

  “She wasn’t raped!” Lisa fired at me. “That’s the story she tells. The truth is she was messing around with her cousin – her cousin, not her friend’s cousin! - and she was perfectly happy about it until she got pregnant. Then the rape thing was her cover story so that her parents wouldn’t kill her.”

  Her words hung in the air while I sat there frozen with shock.

  “Are you sure about that? I mean, did she actually tell you…” I was staring at her in disbelief.

  “Yes, she actually told me. Trust me – she’s very proud of how young she was when she made her first sexual conquest.”

  “But she told me that she lost her virginity with Chad?” I managed to blurt out.

  “Yeah, lost it for like the fifth or sixth time I think.” Lisa’s anger was now taking the place of her sorrow and I handed her the box of tissues from the bureau to wipe her eyes and nose with.

  “Well, okay,” I had to concede. “Maybe it’s not that. But still, she had a…termination…right? She had to have been traumatized by that no matter what the circumstances. She pretends she doesn’t care, but I think it must be a cover up for her true feelings?” I was trying very unsuccessfully to be helpful.

  “Look, it doesn’t matter what her feelings are. The point is that she should be staying in with me tonight and once again, she put herself first and didn’t give a shit about me. Do you know she didn’t even have the guts to tell me she was going out tonight until we were in the car on the way home? Do you know how woozy and awful I felt? As if I was going to give her an argument about it!”

  “I’m so sorry, Lisa. I don’t know what to say.”

  I was very mindful about never saying anything bad about Cheryl to Lisa. I was quite sure it would come back to haunt me later if I did.

  “It’s fine. It’s not your responsibility to know what to say,” she said curtly.

  “What can I do for you? Tell me. Anything. Do you want more pillows? Are you warm enough? Do you want me to run down and get you a cup of tea?”

  She brightened at this.

  “A cup of tea would be great, actually. Peppermint. Nothing in it.”

  “No problem. And do you want me to get you something to eat for later?”

  She shook her head and I patted her leg as I got up to go downstairs.

  I mulled over what she had told me about Cheryl and her cousin as I rode down in the elevator. Could it be true? It certainly shed new light on things. I was wondering when and if I would ever cease to be shocked and amazed by these people.

  I had no sooner arrived i
n the dining hall when I bumped into Chad of all people!

  “Hey Catherine,” he called from behind me as I stood jiggling the tea bag up and down in the paper cup.

  I whipped around in surprise.

  “Oh hey. What are you doing here?” I asked curiously.

  “You seem surprised to see me,” he smiled knowingly.

  “Oh,” I said as my brain raced madly to come up with something to say. “I guess. I didn’t expect to see you here. I thought you said…you were going to a party or something in town?”

  “Or more likely that Cheryl noticed my car was missing and assumed that I had gone into town!” he winked at me.

  “Uh, well,” I fumbled.

  “It’s okay. I know she spies on my car from her window. Which is why I drove it around to the visitor’s pay lot on the other side of campus and left it there for the night. It’ll drive her crazy!” he grinned.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “You know she already left to drive into town. As soon as she noticed your car was gone.”

  “Yeah, I figured as much. Oh well. She might just learn one day!” he began to walk away but turned back again. “What about you? What are you doing tonight?”

  “Oh, well Lisa’s not feeling so well, so I’m just hanging out in the dorm with her. And I’ve got a lot of homework to do this weekend. AND my column, of course!” I smiled.

  “Alright. Well, try to have a little fun between playing Florence Nightingale and…Madame Curie,” he struggled to say as he flushed a little.

  “Madame Curie?” I giggled. “Well I won’t be doing any experiments with radium if that’s what you’re implying!” I pretended to be indignant.

  “Oh, no, I know,” he grinned. “I was just trying to think of someone smart and who worked hard to go with Florence Nightingale, because you sound like you’re going to be doing homework all weekend.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I razzed him good-naturedly. “I know what you were trying to do!”